Jeez

Exercise is great. Some people do yoga, some are involved in more strenuous forms of exercising such as put put. Sometimes I go on long walks. Most people use headphones, listen to their music of choice in the privacy of their own ears. Some people use Bluetooth technology to talk to loved ones or auditors. These individuals have opened the door to public invasion of privacy. I blame these people for the next group of individuals I am going to talk about; stupid people who wear a speaker attached to their iPod. They decide that they own the 200ft radius around them; this is not including the 100ft radius their BMI takes up. I’m a slow walker, usually putting me at a similar pace these ignorant human beings walk at. Mariah Carey and Sade are now always playing in my head.  

There is a lot of arrogance and hierarchy involved in walking on a paved path. Who is going to say hi first? Will you answer the hello? If you are walking on the same side as a pedestrian walking towards you, who is going to move out of the way?

Obesity is a big problem in the United States. Some people say it’s due to fast food chains. I say that’s bogus. Fast food chains like McDonalds are all over the world. We are the only fat ones. This obesity is due solely to Debbie snacks. A snack which tastes as good as a dessert in a five star restaurant but cost’s less then it’s box and wrapping. Born and raised in Tennessee, Little Debbie was responsible for this non sense. If she was still alive, she should be put in jail without the option of parole.

I think the reason we have crime in public is because jails are not user friendly; people get killed, etc. Think about this: A jail with cells which contain plush leather couches, flat panel LED screens, king size beds, and five star cuisines. There is a catch however. You must turn yourself in before you commit the crime to get these benefits. I guarantee you there will be no more murderers on the streets. They would call 911 and be like “ yeah, I was about to kill my brother. I decided not to, get my cell ready, I’ll be there in 10.”

On a final note, why do men hold the door open for women? Women keep fighting for equal rights. Let them open their own door. Chivalry died when Hillary Clinton ran for president.